Category: Let's talk
Well, yesterday, I was told by a certain person that I had just disellusioned them. They thought I was "a cool chick" and they wanted to be like me when they grew up. But I had disappointed them in every way and now, they don't admire me anymore. I must say, I was very surprised and a bit annoyed!!! I have never felt that I was lucky, cool, or anything of the sort. So why should people want to be like me??? I also felt that it was a bit weird for this person to supposedly admire me because they didn't even know me at all and we barely even spoke to each other!!! So my questions to you all is, have you ever admired a person and been disellusioned by them??? If so, what did they say or do that made you not admire them anymore??? Also, has anyone wanted to be like you but you turned out to be a disappointment to them? If so, how did you feel when they told you about it???
*sexy*
Well, I think there’s actually a difference between admiring someone and wanting to be like them. I’ve admired people and wished that I could display certain qualities that they have, but I’d never say I’ve exactly wanted to be like someone. I think that disappointment in a person comes when you have high expectations of the person they are. You can put someone up on a pedestal and see them as perfect, and when you discover their flaws it can come as a great disappointment to you. To my knowledge I don’t think that anyone has ever necessarily admired me or wanted to be like me, if that was the case though I would always guard against that person putting me up on a pedestal as I am by no means perfect – no one is.
Yes, I am afraid that I did not make that distinction clear. To admire someone is completely different from wanting to be like them. Also, I do believe that no one is perfect. So I guess I don't understand why people would want to be like someone. I never wanted to be like anyone and the people that I admired were people who have done things that I thought were good.
*sexy*
well i guess wanting to be like someone else potentially comes from the fact you may dislike the person you are, so thinking you could be like someone else would make you like yourself more if that makes sense.
I've often found people's talents admirable, often is musical talent or their ability to do something that I wished I could,or because of their charm or intelligence etc. But I generally admire that particular feature or attribute of the individual not him/herself as a person I realize we're all human and make mistakes and have our likable and not so likable traits. It's often little things I notice and find attractive or admirable or respectful and I like studying people meeting people and hear their stories and perspectives etc, I've really come to think as everyone having something admirable aboutthem and knowing about it will make you a better person. But, yeah, I've never wanted to be like any particular person, after all we're all unique for a reason and I think you should always choose your own way and not be too influenced by others and what they've chosen before you.
Cheers
-B
exactly. Sometimes (and i knew I did it, then I felt stupid after it) i would be siilar to someone else, and they thought I was cool. But I just discovered you just have to be your best own self, everyone is weird in their own little special way . . . but ah well. i have never expected anything from someone too seriously, and well I think what you admire from people is some of the qualities you may need to work on that you have. But also just because I did not really get what I expected from someone it doesn't mean i will not talk or stop being a friend of theirs, and well as for me disillusioning someone..... umm, I am not sure. i think I have had that experience here too many times... *grin*
I dunno. If some person told me they wanted to be like me, I'd probably discourage it, as the world can only stand one of me and that's barely. LOL! But although I can admire a talent somebody has or a way with people, I doubt I'd ever want to be like that person. I find these days I'm much happier being me than I used to be even ten years ago, but even then I knew I could only be me like it or not.
I've never wanted to be like other people, though I've admired qualities in others. I'm not sure if anyone has ever wanted to be like me, and the gods help them if they do! lol! But if this person barely knows you, then perhaps they thought you were something completely different from what you are, and then when they realised your mistake, they were disappointed. They were disappointed by their own mistake, not because you are a bad person in any way. I hope this makes sense, my brain is totally fried. I've been taking call after call after call since 4:00 and all I want to do is scream. lol
Reads_dots hit it right on. That person really ended up disappointing themselves if you think about it because of theri own expectations not quite connecting with reality. Don't let it eat you up, it's not your fault.
Sexygurl if I was you, I wouldn't be that bothered about this person. I can't say I wish to be like anyone and don't know of anyone who wishes to be like me. I thionk that we should all try and be ourselves! If this person had come to me and said that or anyone did, I would ask them how I'd dissapointed them just out of curiocity, so I would have a greater understanding of them. I may ask them other questions, but I would do so sim[ply because I found what they said a little strange and was curious.